This week I had another panic attack. Actually, make that 2 panic attacks. All because I’m afraid of change and some changes might be coming in my life soon. And I don’t know how to handle them. And I’m scared.
This week I bought tickets for London to visit a friend. And I’ve been wanting to visit London for ages now so this seemed like the most opportune moment. Except, I’ll be going all alone because my friend works and can only accompany me in weekends. I’ll be all alone to visit a foreign city in a foreign country. And that’s terrifying. But I wanted to do it. I really really did. This was my shot and I wanted to take it. But the panic attacks will probably keep on coming until I leave in December because it’s so so scary.
Another panic attack happened this Thursday after I left work. I found out that it’s possible I might be going to work for 2 months in another country because the client requested it so. And I was elated. So so exciting. Except, working in the same room as the client with people I don’t know and who are all 10 year+ my seniors and seem so so professional is quite scary. Talk about sheep in a lion’s den.
All of these things are very new and terrifying. I want to do them, I want out of my comfort zone but I don’t handle well the unknown. I need things in my life to be set so I can be prepared in every situation. And everything can go wrong in these cases.
So, I might require aid. If you know anything that might help me please help a poor terrified potato in need. Thanks.